-Expert Commentator Mike Vilshire
-from Marina del Rey
-The buzz surrounding the possible return of Brianna Galen-Ames for Feast Fest 2012 has dominated FF newslines since the announcement came to light Monday. On a personal scale, I fail to understand the bang-pow effect of the statement. It was the same way almost exactly a year ago when she made her announcement about leaving Feast Fest.
Galen-Ames is a chef who, factually, has had much worthiness to prove even after racking up four Feast Fest appearances. She's a talented but not fully fruited young liaison of the culinary world. Perhaps if that European culinary school of hers hadn't closed down and she had come back asking to join-in a few years down the road, I, from an expert's standpoint, would be more accepting.
But somehow, Galen-Ames has been grouped in with the Feast Fest stars in spite of the fact that--and this is complete frankness here--she's not one. There is something about her, a mystifying aura that draws the eyes of the FF kitchen cameras to her. And her relative youth and Martha Stewart-esque mother always in the stands somehow added to the appeal of FF, gave it a more feminine air.
Galen-Ames, however, is young. Impressionable. A teenager. In other words: she's an idiot. No blame on her for that. All teenagers are idiots. It's just their way of maturing. But Galen-Ames blasted into Feast Fest with such vim and vigor surrounding her that the whole thing went to her head. And though she was charming to all chefs off-kitchen, there were some squabbles on the kitchen floor. She looked up--rightly--to Lynn Avi and her powerful, tigresslike, sashaying style on the floor. But what she didn't realize was that Avi is an adult. She's allowed to boss people around. Galen-Ames isn't.
And herein lies the secret of the other two of the three 18- chefs FF has had in its history: they're a little scared of messing up. As they should be. It keeps them both in line, heightens their performance, and they don't step on anyone's toes.
Galen-Ames, on the contrary, isn't afraid of anybody, and when she began bossing around vets (Lindbergh Merrssff!), she developed a reputation for being "Avi Jr." Some went as far as to call her an airhead.
And while Galen-Ames always flashed her pearly whites at any camera that would point at her, her actual culinary performance has never thrived. She stands with an NCA rating of 78.7 and had the third lowest rating of any FF chef. Now, 78.7 is a great rating, doubtless--the rating of the average Joe is estimated at about 12.3--but the thing is this: all the other 70 and 80-something-rated chefs aren't grouped in with the upper echelons, the elite of the Mason duo, Avi, McAllister, Merrssff, and Pasik. Brianna Galen-Ames was grouped in with them.
The scouters had issues with Galen-Ames (they have issues with everyone, of course, but especially with her) as well. Her Martha Stewart of a mom acted as her agent, nearly taking Feast Fest to court over a "low" one-year contract offer... of $619,254.
Further investigation revealed that Galen-Ames' mother's own restaurant job had sizzled down, little Miss Martha working only part time. It soon became clear that for the Galen-Ames family, the teenager was putting the bread on the table--and a lot of it.
In October 2010, Little Miss Perfection announced her departure. Some said "good riddance," saying that snooty French chefs would better shower her with the constant adoration she sought and craved.
Now, Galen-Ames wants back in. The chefs will likely oppose things, the scouters will likely oppose things, but Galen-Ames will get back into Feast Fest. Because the middle-aged female market she appeals to is so vital to the television ratings, Jimmy Dall will instruct his aggrieved scouters to lay down almost any amount of cash sufficient to achieve it.
If Galen-Ames wants to thrive in her next stint here at FF, it's that FF emphasizes Thanksgiving, an American holiday, which in turn emphasizes American values, one of which is humility. And without that, Galen-Ames will get the moola, but perhaps not the adoration any longer. The sad thing is: she might not even care about that anymore.
And you can tell that Galen-Ames has a lesson to learn here.
Because when I side with the FF Scouting Department... you know something has gone seriously awry.
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